Sometimes when you're in a fight, you have to choose the right weapons. Why do I consider what I'm doing a fight? Because when I don’t think of it as a fight, I never win. Feeling like a victim is easy to do I've had lots of practice, but finally I realized that I don't have to be a victim, I have to do something about what I don’t like in my life.
I think a lot of times we fall short because we don't expect to do any better, we fall short because we don’t free ourselves to move in a new direction.
For years I thought of myself as not being able to control the issue of my weight and lack of successes in my business and I just kind wallowed in my own self-pity. I have a great business, even though I don't have a great business model, and I know that I’m talented, but a lot of times I just let the weight and the lack of success control my behavior and how I see myself.
A lot of people stop dreaming they say, “It’s just too hard it's too difficult!” Trust me I have tried many times to give up my dreams also. What I can say about that option is “it doesn't work for me". It's funny I've been so addicted to the new “Oprah Network” and I was watching a segment where she's talking to her producers and she was discussing an “aha” moment that she had when Wynonna Judd was a guest on her show. Apparently Wynonna said that she uses the phrase “that doesn’t work for me” Oprah was overwhelmingly excited about that phrase which totally puzzled me. She's been on television for 25 years, she is the most successful female entrepreneur and mogul EVER, yet “this doesn't work for me” has never crossed mind? Don’t know about you, but I thought that would be something she said ALL the time! What I took from watching that segment is, even Oprah, someone I've admired for many, many years still can realize that things don't work for her; even someone like her can have a revelation.
So what I do know is that my life has been a good life, but some aspects have not been great and also not fulfilling for me and therefore “do not work for me”.
I've had many dreams for many years and I work and work towards those dreams only for them never to come to fruition the average person would have given up along time ago, but not me and I wondered why; my revelation? “I can’t give up”
My Uncle Bubba (God rest) always said this poem “God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”. Well in the past few weeks, I’ve been getting these cosmic messages. Every television show, magazine, commercial etc. all speak to me about not giving up and continuing to dream. What I now realize is, “I can't give up because I just don’t know how to”. I’ve actually tried many times to put my dreams aside, but every time, the “God-driven” universe puts me right back on the path whether I like it or not and bombards me with messages from everywhere to make sure I stay on it. So I'm always driven back, I'm driven back to my art I'm driven back to losing weight, I'm driven back to everything and I simply do not have the ability to give up, so instead, I plan to fight.
I’ve chosen my weapons carefully; I have my vitamins, I’m eating small meals every 3 hours and to assure that I don’t mess up on that I set an alarm to remind me to eat, I have my inspirational devotionals, I'm creating art, writing and I’m exercising again. I’m learning how to live my life like a winner because I am.
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