Christmas is over and the eve of a new year is tomorrow, but things just seem same old same old to me. For the first time in a long time, I didn't enjoy the holidays. I have always loved the fall and winter seasons, even the 14 years I spent in South Florida with 85 degree weather in December didn't surpress my holiday spirit, but somehow, this year, that spirit just escaped me.

I believe that its because, at 45, I've come to some realizations that are a little hard for me to digest. I've always been a realist, but I also have always believed in the silver lining around the cloud, that justice will always prevail, and that within every person there is good.Call it Pollyanna, but my heart has always believed that. This year unfortunately, some Scrooge ran off with my rose-colored glasses so I am forced to see the world as it really is and not how I think it is.

So without my skewed perception, what do I now realize? I realize that the majority of people are only interested in things that will benefit them directly; that not every one is happy for you, even when they say they are; that the people that are the closest to you cause you the most pain, and last but not least, that the world is full of imperfections that cannot be erased by the goodness in someones heart.

Being cynical has never been a good trait in my opinion, but I can certainly see now why people become that way. So for 2008, I'll only make one resolution and that is NOT to become one of those cynical people. I promise this because, no matter what, deep down I still feel hopeful. Hopeful is a town I must live in so that I can raise my daughter not to be cynical, so that I can still walk outside and appreciate a sunset, so that I can smile at my neighbors and so that I can still continue to love my very dysfunctional extended family. Hopeful is the only reason to see a new year, because with hope, things can ALWAYS change. I hope that 2008 brings you Peace, Love, Prosperity and a set of rose-colored glasses to call your own.

My blog is suffering from neglect.

I'm guilty of what most people are guilty of, having way to many things to do and not enough time to do it in. Not an excuse, just a fact, a fact that I have to address at some point. Most of my "many things to do" is my daily effort in becoming a "paid" entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur now, but I have yet to make a pay check. I don't mind this fact though because I feel that working for yourself is far more rewarding then working for anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I have worked for others most of my life, but the fire within me to have my own manifested itself in my very early 20's and the desire has never left me.

There's been times, mostly as I let go of yet another failing business effort, that I wish this desire would disappear and allow me to be "like everybody else", but it never does.

Since the desire never leaves me, I remind myself once again that Walt Disney failed a reported 7 times before finally happening upon what became his life long love and dream come true. There are many generations of happy and grateful people who are glad that he kept failing. Reminding myself of his failures and eventual success have comforted me more times then I can remember.

I've come to learn to love my entrepreneurial desires good and bad. I'm fortunately at a place in time where I can nurture these desires and turn my dreams into reality. Lucky you, you get to come along on my roller-coaster ride into uncertainty. Hang On!

Here we are again, another great day, I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, I am truly happy to be alive and healthy. Lots of stuff in the news, in particular, this thing with Black water in Iraq, they seem to think they are "Middle Eastern Cowboys" with a license to kill at will. Frustrated about this war, so much so that I have to compartmentalize it in my mind, otherwise it would take over.

So, in order to maintain perspective and not rage against a machine I have no control over, I get up, take"the blue pill"(MATRIX), and get on with my life. I know it sounds like a cop-out, but the alternative would be to stay angry and upset and not enjoy my life. I do still have opinions, I do still like to talk about the issues, I just no longer obsess over it every single day like I used to, and what a better person I am for that.

So I watch reality shows, and cooking shows, read books and drink coffee, talk to my daughter, pet my cat, look out and enjoy my back yard and last but not least, work on my passions. Perhaps our passions are what will bring things back into focus. Things are so off kilter, people don't have passions anymore, they're fatigued from everyday living. I happen to be very fortunate in that I have many passions in life, and at this moment in time, I can pursue them. I have life and health, I have love and I have passions that make me want to get up everyday, it doesn't get much better then that. I wish the same for you.

Ok,

So here I am, blogging. I've been tempted to do this so many times and figured that I wouldn't have the time of even the content to keep this going, but I've decided that I do. Blogging is the thing now, millions of us trying to express ourselves virtually, reaching out into cyberspace to feel special, to feel loved, to feel alive. I was a reluctant recruit because I still believe in the actual interaction of people, but I'm also someone who thinks change is good and never ending so I got with the times and decided to "put myself out there" as many people with blogs say. Perhaps you'll see my blog and, for some reason, it'll stand out against the masses. Maybe some of the insights I plan to share will reach a person or two, either way, this will be my footprint, at least for now, a place where I can say I've been.

So let me know you're out there, I'm sure we'll have some interesting things to share.


Thanks for visiting!


Belhar